Behind a Counselor's Door

My Take on Premarital Counseling

2012-01-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from a letter I wrote explaining to a couple my thoughts

about premarital counseling. If you know of a couple, young or old, who is

heading in the direction of marriage please encourage them to consider premarital

counseling! Some of the most common excuses for not seeking out counseling is

time and money. This is comical in light of how much TIME and MONEY go into

most American weddings! I could go on. And on. And on. But I will jump off

my soapbox and let you read the following:

____________________________________________

For couples who feel they are called to be together, this will be an exciting journey.

During the premarital process, you will continue to reaffirm

your love for and commitment to each other. This will serve to strengthen

the relationship and commitment you already have.

In addition, you will learn ways to cope with life's struggles

and challenging situations that often fracture many couples who were

caught unprepared. You will learn how to grow closer in the

storms of life instead of being pulled apart - how to keep the lines of

communication open, even in the midst of a battle.

Many of the common issues that come between many couples

after marriage are addressed during this period of time. My role

is to encourage you to not fear each other's weaknesses and flaws,

but to identify ways to openly discuss and work through them.

Whereas most couples would avoid these areas before marriage

out of fear it would destroy their relationship; I encourage you to

address and work through them. If there are issues that would destroy

the relationship if discussed before the wedding, then I challenge the

couple to consider what their relationship has been built on.

It is my belief that both of you should have the freedom to openly

address any issues that are present, and fear should be put in its place -

far behind love. Love does not shrink back from issues but is strong

enough to address and work through them. I help you move

beyond the best representative of the person you are

engaged to until you find the person you will marry. I've discovered

that most people wear a mask and do not reveal their true

nature until after they are married. I think it is not only beneficial

but absolutely necessary to know someone on this level before you marry.

It is out of this belief that I approach premarital counseling.

Mom’s are Life Givers, Warrior Makers, World Changers

2011-03-10T09:12:00.000-08:00

---- 1 Timothy 2:13-15 -----

As part of the curse, women suffer great pain in childbirth. However, that

pain doesn’t end when the child is born, it is but the beginning.

Many women are deceived in believing raising their children should not

be so very difficult as long as the right things are done. They quickly discover

how wrong their idealized view of parenting was.

Mothering is not intended to be easy. It is a fight for the souls of our children.

In no other place is the good fight so evident in the life of a mother than in her

home, raising her children to love the Lord. She is fighting a battle on so many

fronts, that only our Omni-powerful God could make her an over-comer against

such odds. She is fighting against herself and all the fleshly desires she has,

against the will of her children to rebel and sin, and against the tide of a world

ruled by the fallen prince, satan. A prince that parades around as an angel of

light, deceiving our children and the world with empty promises of money,

power, fame, fun, ease…

Let us reconsider the role of dear mom. She is a warrior who is

responsible for training the next generation of warriors. She is the one teaching

them by her example how to fight and win battles just as Jesus did while on earth.

Hers is the example they will learn in how to treat their siblings, love their

daddy and others, work, ethics, habits (quiet time, prayer, Bible reading and study…)

Mom is more than a homemaker, she is a life-changer.

Men, we must take her for granted no longer. Our role is to equip and empower

her in ways only God, His Word, and His body can reveal and sustain.

Ours is the opportunity to remind this warrior princess that she is so much

more than a cook, maid, and babysitter. Her value is incalculable this side of

Heaven, but our role is to help her discover and live up to the great calling placed

upon her life. She has been anointed like no other. She is the one God chose to

bring life into this world, and childbirth is just the beginning of that process;

not the end.

Blessings,

Shawn Maguire, LPC

What Kind of Quarterback are You?

2010-11-18T14:01:00.000-08:00

Operation Analogy-Healing Your Wounds

2010-10-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Finally our first official post.

This video was meant to be a practice run but decided it was

blog worthy and definitely a relevant topic discussed on a daily

basis is my office.